Before Dawn
by chromate
Summary: Tomoyo never meant to replace Nagisa as the person next to Tomoya. Yet after a fight with the seven years old Ushio, she started to question if she was doing the right thing. Mainly TomoyoKyou friendship and TomoyoUshioTomoya family


Greetings. This story revolves around Tomoyo, Kyou and Ushio which I hope would be refreshing to read.

Also, as always I recommend people to read in 1/2 page style to make it feel like reading a book.

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><p>'Yes, she's at my place…no, I don't think so…she hasn't said a word yet…look, stop worrying and I'll get back to you some time later, alright?' With that click a woman in her twenties ended the conversation. Casually tossing the phone aside, she stretched her arms and returned to the coffee counter at her house to sit next to another woman, who had a firm hold on a can of beer.<p>

'So…care to explain yet why you're here?'

The tone was not expressed in annoyance or irritation. Rather, it was the warm indifference in that voice that the woman was desiring for at the moment. Intruding on her household at such ungodly hour wasn't her ideal plan, but she could not think of a better place to go to. Reaching for the can of beer that she was offered, she calmly, slowly, took and let the bitterness entered her throat.

'Com'on Tomoyo, that was your sixth can already and you still are not going to tell me anything?'

'It's not like you...' in an unladylike manner, the woman named Tomoyo burped loudly, 'will stop me at all, Kyou…' with utmost precision, she shoved the can aside, completing her collection as a perfect half a dozen.

The woman named Kyou sighed. Scratching her head, she could not decide if she should get her guest another can or throw her out of her house before she made a fuss here. Ultimately she decided against the latter. She recalled the last time they both got drunk after celebrating Kotomi's promotion, when her husband and son came home to find four very drunk women, the innocent Ryou included, sleeping with barely any cloth on their bodies in their bedroom (and not to mention the mountains of beer cans scattered around the living room), and he didn't talk to her for three whole days while her son was sent to live with his parents for a short while. The purple-haired woman had no motivation to let that happen again, however, knowing Tomoyo, it would take her at least another dozen to really get drunk.

Passing her another can, she began, 'you're lucky Jintaro-kun took Satoshi to visit his parents tonight, or else he'd really divorce me seeing this scene,' her eyebrow cocked towards the ten perfectly in-shape cans in front of them. Frankly, they were both good drinkers; they just didn't realize Ryou and Kotomi would lose consciousness after two cans each and make a great scene out of her living room that she regretted persuading them to touch alcohol later.

'Ahhh…more of a reason to hang out with another woman, isn't it?' Kyou could not tell if the silvery-haired woman was getting drunk or not, but decided that it did not really matter. Originally she had asked Ryou to accompany her for the night, and when the door bell rang she had expected her little sister to be here, only to find her best friend with an obscurely emotionless countenance on her face. She knew something was wrong, and her intuition immediately linked her to the man that she had been living with. However, unless she said anything the kindergarten teacher could not be sure.

'So,' she stopped drinking and looked at her friend who noticed her graveness, 'tell me what happened.'

If she told anyone that Sakagami Tomoyo looked like a trapped rabbit in a tiny cage now she would be laughed at. People perceived her to be one of the brightest stars in the Japanese literary world. Since graduated from Tokyo University, her debut novel already earned her enough to basically live Kyou's life thrice. People admired her for her work and also her personality: she was not afraid at pointing out the rotten atmosphere of printing industry. She even chose her own publishers from smaller companies to fight for her own justice, even if that meant she would earn a lot less (last time Kyou heard though, her four novels were good enough for her to stop writing anything anymore). Kyou recalled seeing her in television shows quite a few times, watching in awe as she demonstrated her will in solving others' problems. She had everything an aspiring writer could only admire: talent, fearlessness and a refreshing appearance. She had been asked many times to leave the small town of theirs and explored the world more. Of course, she knew the reason why she didn't leave this town when there were much more opportunities out there, waiting for her to explore them. And she had quite some guesses as to why she was now sitting on her chair, an injured bear moaning for help.

Silence filled the room as Tomoyo suddenly regretted coming. Her past had made her a strong woman who could stand anything against her will in life. She knew she had people who cared for her when she needed them, but to have felt so helplessly weak was not what she usually faced in her life. Her usual source of comfort…was in direct conflict with her reason of feeling so gloomy that she had no idea what to do. Paying Kyou an unexpected visit was the next thing in her mind after she wandered in the street soullessly for hours. She needed a place, a person, to be exact, to settle herself, and before she realized it she was in front of her door already, pressing her doorbell in hopes of finding her sanctuary.

'Ushio-chan and I…had a fight…' hearing her former student's name, Kyou couldn't help but feel shocked and puzzled. The sweet Ushio-chan who always smiled so brightly had a fight with her? Now that was not something you would expect every day. Her furrowed eyebrows told her companion that she should start explaining things thoroughly.

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><p><em>Tomoyo sighed as she looked at the burnt chicken on the pot. Things had not been going so well for her currently. She was experiencing writer's block after finishing her latest work and had no idea what to write next. That was not a good sign for an organized person like her.<em>

_Then she heard deep sound of footsteps from her behind. Another reason of her recent distractedness had just made her entrance. 'Good evening, Ushio-chan,' she acted as calmly as possible, 'I'm sorry but dinner will be ready in a few minutes. Why don't you go change your uniform first and help me set the table after that? Your otou-san will be back in a bit.' Hearing the footsteps fading from her, she could only assume the younger Okazaki had nodded and retreated to her room. The twenty-seven-year-old could only sigh in defeat and relief. _

_For unknown reasons Ushio started to treat her coldly lately. She remembered this happened after one night when Ushio was searching for something in the store room. Tomoya and her got worried for not seeing her in hours, and when they arrived at the dark, tiny room Ushio was flipping through Nagisa's old belongings. The seven-year-old was paying too much attention to the photo album she had in hand that she did not notice the adults' presence. Holding hands, the older girl could feel Tomoya's muscles contracted, and hers as well. It took the father a while to persuade his daughter that it was late, and she should go to bed._

_Ushio hadn't muttered a single word to her after that._

_And this explained how tense the air was when the two of them sat by the dining table, waiting for the only male of the house to come back. Tomoya, having been promoted to vice-president of his electrician company, spent more time at work lately and Tomoyo missed his presence dearly, especially when the invisible wall between she and his daughter was built out of no time. _

'_How's your school today?' She tried to make a conversation. After all, she knew she should be the one taking the initiative._

'_Fine.'_

_Ah, she shouldn't have expected otherwise._

'_Nothing interesting happened? What about your teachers and classmates?'_

'_Fine.'_

_Now her patience had its own limit. She put her hands on the table and looked at the young girl, observing her sternly. That stubborn face really reminded her of Nagisa, who had been gone for seven years already. How closely she resembled her own mother made Tomoyo more anxious to fix their seemingly broken relationship._

'_Ushio-chan, tell me what's wrong,' Ushio's bored expression began to change, as her eyes showed annoyance, 'I know there's something in between us now, but I can never know what the problem is if you avoid talking to me at all.'_

_Taking a short pause, she could see no sign of movement, thus she went on, 'We live together, Ushio-chan. It won't help any of us if you…where're you going?' _

_Little Ushio-chan, having decided that she had heard enough, soundlessly got up and left the table, turning her back on her. Tomoyo blinked for a second before reacting, taking a step forward and grabbed her arm._

'_I said stop! Don't you hear me!'_

'_Let me go!' The young Okazaki screamed, trying her best to get rid of Tomoyo's firm grip. The once-infamous Sakagami, however, would not forgo her chance that easily._

'_What's wrong with you, Okazaki Ushio! Where's your manner? I didn't raise you like that!' Had she been thinking clearly, she would have chosen better wordings in her phrase, as they were precisely what ticked Ushio off._

'_YOU'RE NOT MAMA! YOU'RE NOT PART OF THIS FAMILY! YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO TELL ME WHAT TO DO!'_

_And Tomoyo froze._

_Without realizing she had let go of her grip on Ushio's arm._

_Without caring the girl had run off to her room and shut the door with all her might, leaving her standing there._

_Without noticing the man of the house, Okazaki Tomoya, had just entered the scene and was shocked at his daughter's outburst, and his companion's stoic expression._

_Her mind was too occupied with the words she had just said. It kept on replaying and replaying and replaying in her mind. Ushio's accusing voice. Ushio screaming at her. Ushio distancing her from this household. _

"_You have no right to tell me what to do."_

_No, that's wrong. She practically raised her to this state. She had every single right to do so._

"_You are not part of this family."_

_No, that's wrong. She had been living here for almost three years. While not trying to sound arrogant, she did consider herself as part of the family here._

"_You're not mama."_

_X hit the jackpot._

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><p>Kyou gulped, rather uncomfortably, as her best friend's story sank in gradually.<p>

Tomoyo completed her tale with her ninth can of beer of the night. Drinking didn't help solve her problem: she learnt that during college, but right now she couldn't find another thing that could make her feel more human than ever. And that's what she needed.

Kyou, on the other hand, was at loss of words. Tomoyo was one of the strongest people she knew and, to be frank, she had no idea what to say in such situations. Having a son herself didn't help her logic as Tomoyo's case was different. Ushio found the photos. The young Okazaki knew how brightly Nagisa smiled. She saw how happy her mother and Tomoya looked together before Nagisa's departure, and before Tomoyo came into picture.

It was not her fault. Kyou knew well enough that nobody had anything to do with Nagisa's death. She didn't cause any misery to the newly-wed back then; in fact, had she not stayed around to provide emotional support for Tomoya, he would have continued to stay in his state of depression and Kyou did not dare to think about how that would benefit anyone.

'I…' Tomoyo started to sob, 'I did not mean to…replace Nagisa…I never thought about that…'

'I know, Tomoyo,' Kyou pulled her closer to her body and hugged her gently, 'I know.'

'I love him too much, Kyou…' the novelist whimpered, 'I never dare to betray Nagisa like that…I just want Ushio to grow like a healthy child with people around to care about her…and not to go through what I had been before…' she trailed off, and Kyou was well-aware enough of her past family history not to ask her what that meant.

'Did you know that, Kyou…' her voice began to crack, 'the first time we kissed…that was two years after Nagisa passed away…I cried…pathetic, isn't it? I cried after kissing the man I love…but no, I cried because Nagisa's faltered frown appeared in my mind…I was scared…I was afraid of what others would think of me...if I was a shameless woman…if my friends would abandon me for taking advantage of the unavoidable situation...'

The elder Fujibayashi twin wordlessly followed her logic. She remembered hearing this from Tomoya before, and that it wasn't until both Akio and Sanae, Nagisa's parents whom they got along with as well, assured they were happy for both Tomoya and Ushio that Tomoyo, for the first time after that kiss, felt a burden had been released from her shoulders. Tomoya had asked about her opinion on this matter before, on whether if he should keep being faithful to Nagisa or seek a new light in Tomoyo.

'_What kind of man are you, baka?' She practically barked at him. 'Tomoyo loves you and you love her. Do you think Nagisa would have wanted you to keep being depressed just because she's gone? The woman that you're talking about practically drags you back to life by herself, and you think abandoning her would be the wise choice just so to protect your own freaking dignity?'_

So far things had been going pretty well for the Okazakis, especially after Tomoyo had moved in two years ago to take better care of Ushio when Tomoya's at work. Kyou had hoped for things to keep its peaceful pace, but like every family a crisis was bound to happen. It would be easy to lecture Tomoya on such matters, but Ushio…she's just seven years old. It would be hard to explain abstract things like love between her parents to her. Perhaps she could talk to Tomoya about it. So far Ushio had been very loyal to her father's words.

'Cry your heart out, Tomoyo, if that makes you feel better,' the only thing the purple-haired housewife could do now, perhaps, was just to give her the shoulder she needed. She listened silently as Tomoyo rested on her shoulder and let her emotions speak for themselves. The clock stroke eleven and all Kyou could hear was the sound of her companion sobbing restlessly onto her flesh.

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><p>Waking up with her head in pain, Tomoyo struggled to pull herself from bed. It took her a while to register to her mind that she had spent the night at Kyou's place, and the purple-haired girl was sleeping soundly next to her as she sat on bed. Purple-haired girls, to be exact. She learnt later that the younger Fujibayashi twin had arrived last night after Tomoyo fell into unconsciousness and together the sisters helped change her clothes and support her to bed.<p>

The twins also woke up shortly afterwards, and after spending some time on catching up they went out for lunch together (Tomoyo reckoned this was the first time she had slept until almost midday. For years she had to wake early to prepare breakfast for Tomoya and Ushio). Walking aimlessly around the shopping malls and various shops did make her recall the time of senior high. Those were the carefree time. Now was different.

Kyou had assured her that Tomoya had talked to Ushio, and it would be best for the tall girl to relax a bit just for today. He told her to come back by evening for dinner, and that everything would be settled by then.

The novelist could only hope so. The fight that she had with Ushio was brief but intense. Up till now she still felt the younger girl's words could pierce through her heart like an impromptu dagger. She felt suffocated, as if her words had physical meaning that pressed on her, making her moan in helplessness. Any normal adult would know how to deal with a tempered child, but not her. She had zero experience in this. Her family wasn't necessarily a good example on bringing up children and even after she had moved in with Tomoya to take care of Ushio, she still constantly turned to Kyou and Sanae for help. She hated that part of herself. She hated how weak that felt. She hated how unfeminine that was not to be able to take care of a child. As obstinate as that sounded, she did not want to lose this battle.

Yet still, was she just trying to replace Nagisa? Her instinct told her no, but when she thought about the question carefully, the question became 'why are you living with Tomoya?' At first, she moved in with them because she wanted to spend more time with Tomoya. She loved him. No denial on that, and she knew many couples could live together without being legally affiliated. Then, she wanted to take better care of Ushio. Tomoya had to work, and asking Sanae to always come over to look after her granddaughter sounded inappropriate. Her job nature did not require her to stay in an office all day anyway. A computer was all she needed to start working. Thirdly, she hoped to make the household livelier, to compensate for Nagisa's absence. She knew the blue-haired man had a hard time sleeping at night and she could provide comfort for him. She could also handle basic household tasks during daytime, when he was out to work, so that when he was back from work and Ushio back from school they could enjoy a meal together. Like a family.

However, all these three main factors sounded like she's just Nagisa's shadow. Ushio was right. Unconsciously, she was just playing the role that Okazaki Nagisa had been playing, and possibly she was doing what she would have done. Her mind told her not to think that. She was Sakagami Tomoyo, a woman who just happened to love the same man as Nagisa did. She never thought of betraying her or substituting her place in Ushio' heart, yet all her actions so far pointed towards that direction. She grimed.

The twins had been hoping that staying out of the Okazaki household for a day would ease Tomoyo's trouble, but as evening stepped closer the silvery-haired woman's emotion started to fluctuate. Carefully walking towards her house together in silence, they found themselves standing outside the door. Tomoyo looked at the concrete object with complex feelings. While she would want to step pass that barrier so anxiously, what lay behind that door frightened her.

'Com'on Tomoyo, you can't come and just stand here,' her friend squeezed her hand warmly, with Ryou giving her a reassuring nod. Tomoyo knew it: eventually she would have to deal with this matter anyhow. She could not run away now if she still wanted to watch Ushio grow and see Tomoya's relieved smile.

Opening the door with all her might, as if air had frozen, she embraced her awaited fate.

Tomoya was the first person she saw after stepping inside the household. How she wanted to jump into his arms and hugged him senseless and cried in his chest. He had always been the pillar of comfort for her, but this time she could not depend on the man she loved so much.

His gaze did not falter. It was as if to ask 'are you ready?' when she nodded slightly. He stared for one more second before ushering the tiny figure to come out. Okazaki Ushio was presented.

The famed novelist took a deep breath before stepping forward, but Ushio beat her to that. Moving slowly towards the taller figure, the seven-year-old was hesitant in speaking. Opening her mouth and shutting it for repetitive times, she finally gathered the courage to vocalize her thoughts, even if it was in a dim voice.

'Papa told me that,' she took in another big breath, 'I should not treat people badly when they love me and care for me.'

Behind the silver-haired woman, Kyou and Ryou observed the scene in full anxiety. Kyou in particular. Ushio did not seem to notice her which was a good thing, as she was eager to see how her former student would react in such situations. Of all her students in the kindergarten, Ushio had always been the best-behaved one, and she wished not for this matter to traumatize a seven-year-old's mind. Watching the little child act this way pained her heart.

Tomoyo waited for Ushio to keep talking, as she had no idea how she should respond to that. She did not want to sound judgemental or bossy towards a girl four times younger than she was, as she tugged her black dress nervously.

Ushio, wordlessly, revealed her hands that had been hiding from the older girl's vision. Everyone, with the exception of Tomoya, widened their eyes.

'That is…' Kyou was surprised to see the drawing that she assigned in class back then. The topic was 'family', and each student was asked to draw what they could think of about their family, be it parents or siblings or just their house. If she remembered correctly, what Ushio had drawn was…

'Fujibayashi-sensei told us to draw our family a few years ago,' Ushio continued as Tomoyo watched her tiny hands toyed with the edge of the paper, slowly revealing to her the content of the drawing. 'I thought for a while, and then I began to draw Papa's face, and then myself…'

By then, Tomoyo already had a good, clear look at the girl's artwork, and she gasped, covering her mouth with her hands as she felt a rush of emotion rising from her stomach.

'After talking to Papa, I decided that two people seemed too lonely in the picture, so I drew another person…' Ushio raised her head and faced Tomoyo's sky-blue eyes.

'I drew Mama in it too.'

Things started to spin in the Fujibayashi twins' eyes. Everything suddenly happened so fast. They remembered seeing Tomoya giving a relieved smirk as he watched from behind, and Tomoyo rushing to hold Ushio into her arms, and the sight of Ushio's drawing floating in mid-air, and hearing the sound of Tomoyo, the strongest girl they knew, sobbing graciously.

The paper kept its space in the corridor for a while until it landed by Kyou's feet. She looked down to study the drawing and understood immediately her best friend's reaction. Ryou held her hand and smiled warmly, and Kyou couldn't help but felt her lips curved upwards brightly when Tomoya hugged the crying girls in front of her, padding them on the head and whispering soft words into their ears.

The sheet of paper lay perfectly still on the floor. A house could be seen in the background, shaded by the people standing in front of it. There was a man with short blue hair who stood by the gate, and he was lifting the hand of a small girl who was grinning cheerfully as she was about to jump off the ground. Her other hand, however, was also lifted, by a woman with long silvery hair, trademarked by the black headband that she treasured a lot. The man seemed to be laughing at the girl's childishness, while the woman gave a concerned look at the younger girl who was eager to go anywhere exciting, but nonetheless she was still smiling. Behind them stood another woman, whose short brown hair floated in the air. She kept herself in a composed gesture and seemed content and happy at the scene in front of her.

Kyou picked up the drawing and felt her heart warmed, watching the three Okazakis hugging each other. It was as if Nagisa was here also, smiling and giving them her blessing. Kyou smiled as Ryou and her slowly left the scene, leaving the three of them in the hallway.

The sheet of paper stayed silent on the floor, closely listening to the sound of the household and the voice of the people, and it lay there for the remaining night as the house became warm again.

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><p><em>The End<em>

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><p>For those who got confused, let me explain something first.<p>

1. I originally thought of getting Kyou and Sunohara married, however since the part of the emphases of the story is on Kyou-Tomoyo friendship, the last thing I need is getting more characters involved. Considering that, I throw in two random OC, Jintaro and Satoshi, as Kyou's husband and son. They have nothing much to do with the story hence I did not describe them in much details.

2. This story takes place seven years after Nagisa's death, hence the age of respective character. I spent quite some time changing Ushio's age and Tomoyo's. The thing is, I didn't want to make Tomoyo too old, but to do so would mean Ushio has to be a very young girl, and I am not sure if she sounds too mature for her age (seven, in this fic). But the point is, Ushio got mad because she thought that Tomoyo was the reason Nagisa was gone, and that finding old pictures of Tomoya and Nagisa happily together triggered her to confirm her point.

3. Kyou was set as the same kindergarten teacher, while Tomoyo was a successful writer who wrote openly about social issues. I portray her as a strong-willed woman who is not afraid of pissing off the rich and the powerful. The contrast between this Tomoyo and the Tomoyo Ushio was mad at was what I tried to emphasize on.

4. The 'Mama' and 'three Okazaki's reference at the end of the story. I don't think I need to state what that means.

I figure given the limited number of fics in this site, I should write something different and this Tomoyo-Ushio plot came to mind. It was quite challenging to write a fight between a seven-year-old and someone twenty years older, but it was quite fun to do so. It also gave me some time off my other fics to work on.

Please kindly review and let me know if you like/dislike this story. Also, please read my other Clannad fic _一番の宝物 __My Most Precious Treasure. _Until next time!


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